Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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