My first STD was from a foam party
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize