See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize