I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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