that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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