i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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