I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
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She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
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no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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