Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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