come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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