; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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