I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize