operation have a gay friend backfired
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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