Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize