i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize