we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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