dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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