she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize