I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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