he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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