they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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