My brain says no but my pants say off.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
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He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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