i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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