Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
My life is pants optional.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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