My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
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