He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
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I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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