my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
should my penis look like a turkey
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize