whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
this beer tastes like vomit already
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize