Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize