my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize