Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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