well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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