White coat. Heels.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
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oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
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you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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