guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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