his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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