Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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