i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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