My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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