fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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