don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
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nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
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Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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