and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
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Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
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Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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