I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize