do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize