I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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