He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize