I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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