i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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