actually, I'm a sock model
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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