Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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