I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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