party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
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Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
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Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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